
Beyond Narcissism: Understanding the Full Spectrum of Abuse with Abuser Intervention Specialist, Lundy Bancroft
Mar 25, 2025"āAbusers don't believe on any deep level that there's anything wrong with what they're doing. That's one of the reasons it's so easy to mistake them for narcissists." Lundy Bancroft
In this episode, Lundy Bancroft, a renowned expert on narcissism, abusive relationships, and the family court system, reveals how abusive men manipulate both their partners and the legal system to maintain control. With over 30 years of experience working with abusers and training professionals, Lundy exposes the subtle and overt tactics used by high-conflict individuals to gain power in custody disputes and other legal battles. He shares eye-opening insights from his books, Why Does He Do That? and The Batterer as Parent, highlighting the systemic failures in family courts that often work in favor of abusers, despite clear evidence of harm. Lundy explains why survivors of abuse find themselves in difficult, uphill battles when trying to protect their children and the emotional toll this takes.
Lundy also provides practical advice for mothers navigating high-conflict divorces and custody disputes, outlining critical steps to level the playing field and protect children from further harm. He dives deep into the biases within the legal process that enable dangerous individuals to gain access to their children, even when their behavior is abusive.
Through this conversation, Lundy offers a powerful look into how the family court system operates, how survivors can reclaim their power, and the ways in which we can push back against a broken system. This episode is an essential listen for anyone dealing with narcissism, abuse, and the complexities of high-conflict divorce and custody battles.
Connect with Lundy:
- Book - Not To People Like Us: https://www.amazon.com/People-Hidden-Abuse-Upscale-Marriages/dp/B0009K75UO
- Book - When Dad Hurts Mom: https://www.amazon.com/When-Dad-Hurts-Mom-Witnessing/dp/0425200310
- Book - The Batterer as Parent: https://www.amazon.com/Batterer-Parent-Addressing-Domestic-Violence/dp/1412972051
- Book - Should I Stay or Should I Go?: https://www.amazon.com/Should-Stay-Relationship-Can-Should-be/dp/042523889X
- Book - Daily Wisdom: https://www.amazon.com/Daily-Wisdom-Does-That-Encouragement/dp/0425265102#:~:text=Book%20details&text=Lundy%20Bancroft%20expands%20on%20his,what%20is%20happening%20to%20you.
- Book - The Joyous Recovery: https://www.amazon.com/Joyous-Recovery-Approach-Emotional-Wellness/dp/0578464691
- Book - In Custody: https://www.amazon.com/Custody-Carrie-Green-Novel/dp/B09BGLY3P8
- Website: https://lundybancroft.com/
- Listen to Lundy's BorderlinerNotes YT episode: https://youtu.be/ywsTdzkiPF0?si=TUOmWrBy1pH8u7n1
Journey Beyond Divorce Resources:
- Follow JBD on Instagram: @journey_beyond_divorce
- Book a Free Rapid Relief Call: http://rapidreliefcall.com
- Join the High Conflict Divorce Support Group: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/hcdsg
A word from our sponsor:
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