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Change

change effort feelings resist Oct 09, 2012

One of the things I struggle with is change.   The need for it keeps sneaking up on me.  Tenacity is one of my gifts.  On the one hand, it is a gift to be able to stick with something until it is completed.  On the other hand, it prevents me from seeing what might really be happening as I put my head down and move forward, frequently with a lot of effort and not a lot of results.

So after a tense weekend in which my mission (though I hadn’t recognized it as such yet) was to get my partner to do what I saw as the next step for us and his mission was to resist, I began to see that this gift was a two sided coin.  My efforts to change “who he is” or “who he is being” were fruitless.  Those efforts are always fruitless.   Change happens from within, and not because I seek it in another.

This morning with some sleep, I can see that the only person I can change is me.   I can also see that I have nothing to lose by being the change I want to see in this relationship, and I have curiosity and an adventurous heart about the new perspective.  I have some new, excited energy that will allow me to work on my own change.

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” - Mahatma Gandhi

What personal change do you want to make?  How is resisting change holding you back?

Post written by Mary Burns Hoff.

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