Creating Your Divorce Support Team

By Lisa Brick

Divorce is  a lonely and isolating process initially yet it does not have to remain that way. As confusing and painful as splitting up a marriage, a family, and a life can be, with the appropriate support the experience can be one of clarity, growth, and confidence. While this may sound impossible, our experience as divorce coaches and as individuals who have gone through similar if not identical traumas ourselves, has shown it is not only possible, it is infinitely preferable for a positive outcome.

The stories we've collected from others navigating this journey have shown us repeatedly that those who gather high quality support around them come out stronger, clearer, and more satisfied with their lives than they were prior to their divorce. Those who have gathered no or poor quality support come out bitter, angry, and as or more unhappy than they were in their marriages. The contrast is stark, and you have control over which way you ultimately emerge from your separation and divorce.

A well chosen team of supportive, experienced, and knowledgeable people can make the difference between feeling stuck and isolated and moving forward with increased clarity and confidence. The journey of divorce is turbulent.  How you navigate it and who you choose as your crew has a profound impact on your experience, in the present and in the future.

Individuals you’ll want on your team exhibit the following characteristics:

• They keep your focus on you, not your spouse.
• They keep you focused in the present and bring you back from time traveling into the past or towards the future of your fears.
• They steer you away from woulda, coulda, shoulda to what's possible, what's optimal, and what's next.
• They support you to distinguish out what you have learned from your past experiences so as to create a rewarding future.
• They provide you the time and space to feel what you are feeling with compassion and  understanding while gently encouraging you to shift from there.
• They focus on responsibility rather than fault and blame and support you to do the same.
• They are knowledgeable about the information they provide and or the resources they share so you can find the information you need to make informed decisions.
• They know you are powerful and able to create a new and more rewarding life, even if you don't.

No matter what your circumstances, having a team to support and encourage you to divorce rationally and strategically will make a difference in how much your divorce costs you financially and emotionally and whether you come out the other end feeling battered and broken or happy and whole.

To find out more about us, the resources we provide on our website, and to download our two free divorce support ebooks, Navigating Your Divorce and Stepping Out of Chaos, click here.  Let us support you to support yourself, your family, and your future.

P.S. Don’t do this alone. Click HERE to stay up to date, and let us help you ‘Journey Beyond’ in to the life you want to live!

Chief Visionary: Karen McMahon

My passion is to help men and women navigate the emotional difficulties of relationships, breakups and divorce. Our work together will open up the possibility that your current relationship challenges can lead to a rewarding voyage of self-discovery and an immensely more pleasing life experience. Together we create a path to clarity. Find out if Coaching is right for you, and accept my gift of one FREE session.